An association with a Guru is one of the most sacred, blessed, unique and beautiful of all bonds. Purer than the bond between a mother and child, a relationship with a Guru is characterized by unconditional love, compassion, and protection on the part of a Guru, and trust, faith, and devotion on the part of a disciple. A connection with a true Guru takes place only when a soul reaches the level of humility needed for intellectual surrender, and is motivated to serve God without selfish intentions, including forsaking one’s own devotional pleasure. It is then that God leads the soul to a true Guru.

What is the Purpose of a Guru? 

There are numerous reasons for having a true Guru on the spiritual journey:

1. Evolve from Darkness to Light. A true Guru is one who is ordained by God to disseminate Vedic knowledge to spiritually hungry souls. God reaches those souls through an illumined true Guru who is both Shrotriya (i.e., one who clearly grasps the knowledge of the Scriptures) and Brahmanishṭa (i.e., one who has internally realized divine knowledge). Only he can guide spiritual aspirants or sadhaks from the darkness of ignorance to the light of knowledge. Vedic scholars who are Shrotriya but not Brahmanishṭa, may engage in scholarly discussions but may not have the potential to positively transform lives through the power of their speech. 
2. Decrease Mental Afflictions. All materially conditioned souls are characterized by ignorance of their true state (i.e., the soul) because they identify with the physical body. Identifying oneself as the body propagates five mental afflictions: (i) Asmita or false pride; (ii) Abhinivesh or fear of death; (iii) Raag or attachment to material things; (iv) Dvesh or hatred; and (v) Avidya or ignorance. These mental afflictions hinder detachment from the material world. As association with a true Guru helps to reduce these defects and increase the mind’s attachment to God. Such experiences deepen the faith in the Guru’s guidance and the demonstrated path of spirituality.
3. Prevent Mistakes. Vedic knowledge is divine, thus it is flawless. It is best learned through the descending process where the Guru transmits the knowledge directly to the disciple based on the internal state and readiness to receive divine knowledge. When sadhaks follow the ascending process, they are more likely to make countless mistakes in the comprehension and application of divine knowledge because the interpretation is made by material minds. A true Guru has traversed the spiritual path himself, so can guide others before they make mistakes that could impede progress. 
4. Break the Cycle of Life and Death. In a lovely kirtan entitled, “Asharan-sharan, sharan tava aayo,” Jagadguru Shree Kripalu ji Maharaj wrote a very impactful line: भटकत रह्यो अनादि काल ते, ज्यों अनाथ जग अग जग जायो (Bhatkat rahyon anadi-kal te, Jyaun anath jag, ag jag jayo). He says that the soul, having taken all kinds of animate and inanimate forms of life since endless lifetimes, has been wandering aimlessly like an unwanted orphan. The implication is that without the loving and compassionate support of God [through the medium of a Guru], there is no way to break the cycle of life and death. Jagadguru Shree Adi Shankaracharya also stated that one cannot attain salvation without taking shelter of a Guru. 

How Should We Choose (or Not Choose) a Guru? 

Choosing a Guru should be based on careful forethought and conscious decision-making based on scriptural knowledge. It is important to understand what not to do as much as attending to the proper criteria for selecting a Guru. 

1. Types of Miracles. Do not select a Guru based on his ability to display miracles as a way to attract followers. Many of such siddhis may have been acquired by austerities that are tamasic (e.g., controlling a ghost) or rajasic (e.g., health improvement) in nature and the more they are utilized, the faster they deplete. Even sattvic siddhis (e.g., levitating, altering the size of the body) are material in nature. Such siddhis are not necessarily for the welfare of mankind. While some genuine saints do display miracles for the welfare of their disciples, it is rare and displayed only with those who already have faith in the Guru’s intent and actions. 
2. Nature of Blessings Conferred. Be cautious about sadhus who confer material blessings (e.g., promise of a life-partner, a child, or cure an ailment) as a way to attract followers. A true God-realized saint is situated in divine bliss, has renounced the world, and realizes that happiness does not lie in worldly objects. Thus, he will not bestow material blessings that increase attachment to the fallible material desires. Additionally, a true saint will not interfere with the Law of Karma. He will confer blessings in the form of teaching divine knowledge to purify the soul and bring devotees closer to God in accordance with the purpose of human life. 
3. External Characteristics. Do not select a Guru based on superficial external characteristics like their clothes, appearance, actions, etc. Our material mind is unable to comprehend the actions of divine saints, thus, we should not judge their actions based on our norms of conduct. King Janak’s Guru, Ashtavakra had many deformities in his body, yet he was an enlightened soul. Many saints in history have lived lives that appear to be contrary to our assumptions about saintly actions. For example, kings like Janak, Prahlad and Ambarish lived in external opulence but internally they were renounced personalities. Similarly, Meerabai, Tukaram, and Narsinh Mehta lived a household life but were united with God in consciousness. 
4. Superficial Initiation Rituals. Be very cautious about sadhus who very easily confer initiation rituals (e.g., mantra or diksha) to attract potential disciples without providing a solid foundation of tatvagyan to deepen their spiritual connection with God. A true saint will never bestow divine diksha until a soul is completely purified, has no tinge of selfish desires, and has totally surrendered the intellect to the Guru. 
5. Power of Curse Words. Do not select a Guru out of fear of being cursed (shrap) if you leave his tutelage due to lack of inspiration in his words or teachings. A true Guru will never curse or say inauspicious things even to those who have wronged him. He knows that materially conditioned souls are impure and subject to mental afflictions. Even the sages in history like Maharshi Durvasa, who was known for losing his temper quickly, issued curses that turned out to be blessings in disguise.

How do We Recognize a True Guru? 

A true Guru is a divine personality who cannot be deciphered with our material mind. Therefore, it is possible that we may not even be able to recognize him when we meet Him face-to-face. Discriminating a true Guru from the fake ones requires inner faith, willingness to surrender the intellect, and the sentiments of devotion. This faith is gifted by God when a soul intensely longs to meet Him. In the “7 Divine Laws to Awaken Your Best Self,” Swamiji describes in detail the ways to recognize a true Guru. Some points are noted here briefly. 

1. Expertise in Scriptural Knowledge. The divine knowledge of the scriptures flows through a true Guru as naturally as the rays of the morning sun to illumine those around Him and to remove the darkness of ignorance. He possesses the ability to directly quote and cite the original source of knowledge from various scriptures. 
2. Practical Realization of the Absolute Truth. A true Guru is one who has experienced the spiritual journey through practical realization. Having been blessed with divine grace by surrendering to God, a true saint is a tattva darshi. In other words, he is internally pure, trustworthy, and one in whom we can establish faith to guide us on the spiritual journey.
3. Ability to Eradicate Scriptural Doubts. A theoretical scholar may interpret the complex knowledge of the scriptures from an academic perspective. However, due to a lack of practical realization, their explanation may not necessarily alleviate doubts. In contrast, a true Guru possesses the ability to resolve doubts and dispel confusion related to any aspect of spirituality because of being in an internal state of God-consciousness.
4. Highly Impactful Words (Vaani). The words or vaani of a true Guru impact the heart of those who are drawn to spirituality. Why? Because the knowledge is based on having experienced God-realization and not just a mastery of the scriptures. Additionally, the soul is a tiny fragment of the all-powerful God and has been seeking eternal bliss since endless lifetimes. A true Guru is a saint who encompasses infinite bliss. A spiritual aspirant naturally gravitates toward the true Guru like a magnet, impacted by the words of wisdom and practical realization. 
5. Increased Detachment from Worldly Objects and Attachment to the Divine. An association with a God-realized saint has the power to enable material souls to gain divine knowledge, develop faith, and also free them from sins of endless lifetimes. The words of the Guru increase the desire to apply the knowledge and grow from within. Internal contemplation on the divine knowledge helps to deepen the faith and love for God and Guru. Concurrently with increased attachment to the divine realm, the soul develops detachment from the mundane things in the material world, having been impacted by association of a saint who is like a fireball of God-consciousness.
6. Ocean of Deep Compassion. A true Guru is so deeply compassionate and kind that he is willing to incur personal losses to help those in need. A beautiful story about Maharshi Valmiki exemplifies this point:

Maharshi Valmiki was a very kind and compassionate Guru. One night, one of the disciples stole some objects from the ashram. The other disciples knew of his identity. They complained to their Guru who assured them that he would talk to the disciple who stole the objects. A few days later there was another theft. The same disciples were very upset and approached Maharshi Valmiki again and requested him to expel the thief or they would have to leave the ashram.

Valmiki Maharshi assembled all his disciples and said, “My dear children, you all are very attentive disciples. You have learned and realized what is good for you. Therefore, if you leave this ashram now, you will still find a place in another ashram and continue your learning. However, the disciple who stole the objects, has not yet learned the difference between good and bad. As his Guru, I have to teach him that lesson, so I cannot send him away. Hence, I am willing to let all of you go for his sake.” Moved by his Guru's empathetic words, the disciple who committed the theft prostrated in front of Maharshi Valmiki and with tears welling up in his eyes, promised that he would never ever steal in future. He kept his promise and became one of the best disciples of Maharshi Valmiki.

How Should We Associate with a True Guru?

Faith is a very critical ingredient for associating and benefitting from a Guru’s guidance. The deep faith needs to be based on the knowledge of Guru-tattva, not just attraction to the magnetic personality traits observed during an initial contact with a true Guru. A lovely story narrated by Swamiji illustrates the importance of faith in a true Guru. 

Once, a disciple of Shree Chaitanya Mahaprabhu asked Him a question, “How long will it take for me to achieve God-realization?” Mahaprabhu jokingly replied, “This tree under which you are sitting, has many leaves on it. It will take as many births as there are leaves on the tree.” The disciple heard the Guru’s words and started dancing with joy that it was confirmed that he would attain God after having lived an infinite number of lives in the cycle of life and death. He was thrilled! Seeing his elation, Mahaprabhu said, “No, I have to make a correction. You will attain God-realization in this life itself.” The disciple was so delighted that he danced with more abandon. Seeing his enthusiasm, Mahaprabhu said, “No, you will attain God during this year itself.” The disciple’s enthusiasm reached sky-high and Mahaprabhu said, “You will attain God in this month.” Finally Mahaprabhu said, “Here is Shree Krishna. Come and take a look at Him.” When the other devotees asked their Guru about why He kept changing His word, Mahaprabhu said that the disciple’s firm faith that he would attain the goal, kept on increasing and the firm faith is what attracted the grace of God. 

Having found a true Guru, it is very important to develop a humble attitude and one of servitude when associating with him. Even Lord Ram and Lord Krishna, who were avatars themselves, sought tutelage from a spiritual Guru to establish the tradition of the descending form of divine knowledge. They were humble and reverent even though they were omnipotent themselves. As Shree Krishna tells Arjun:

तद्विद्धि प्रणिपातेन, परिप्रश्नेन सेवया |
उपदेक्ष्यन्ति ते ज्ञानं, ज्ञानि नस्तत्त्व दर्शिन: || 34||

Learn the Truth by approaching a spiritual master. Inquire from him with reverence and render service unto him. Such an enlightened Saint can impart knowledge unto you because he has seen the Truth (Bhagavad Gita 4.34).

In associating with a true Guru, it is important to recognize the tremendous grace of God by following the Guru’s instructions to engage in sadhana and seva. When spiritual aspirants begin to seek opportunities to serve God and Guru, seva becomes an expression of their devotion. The spiritual hunger arises from within, which in turn is reciprocated by divine grace in the form of brief moments of devotional bliss. This bliss is so satisfying to the soul that it becomes even more attached to the divine realm and detached to worldly things. Some beautiful stories about Swami Haridas, a disciple of Shree Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, illustrate the power of association with true Guru. Swami Mukundananda narrated these stories in his divine discourses.  

Swami Haridas lived in a little hut in Nidhivan (Vrindavan). His divine bhajans attracted a huge congregation. Once of his maternal cousins, Vitthal Vipul, also renounced his worldly life and became his disciple. One time Vitthal Vipul noticed that his Guru stared at Saghan Kunj (forest grove). When he went for a bath, he would look in that direction and sometimes do pranam. So, Vitthal Vipul asked Swamiji Haridas, “Guru ji, what do you see?” Haridas started singing a kirtan, “Yugal Jodi, please give me Your darshan,” and told Vitthal Vipul to go into the forest grove. When he went into the forest, he had darshan of Yugal Sarkar (Radha-Krishna). He returned and expressed his gratitude to his Guru. The other students could not believe Vitthal Vipul’s words. So, Swamiji Haridas told him to get a utensil from Saghan Kunj. He went to the spot where the leela took place and picked up a gold utensil and brought it back. Then others believed him. 

Swami Haridas had another disciple named Hrishikesh who was sent to Rajasthan to preach. There he met a man named Vigyani. Hrishikesh told him that his Guru has conversations with Lord Krishna. Vigyani deeply desired to witness this leela. He asked Hrishikesh what he could take to his Guru when he went for his darshan. Hrishikesh said that Swami Haridas wanted nothing so he could either take some bhog item or some perfume to offer to God. 

So, Vigyani used all his wealth to buy the expensive items needed to make an exquisite fragrance and took all of it with him and walked bare feet to meet Swami Haridas. At that time, Haridas ji was in samadhi, doing roop dhyan of Radha-Krishna are doing their kunj leela. In his roop-dhyan, it was time for Holi and Shree Krishna threw wet colors infused with fragrance. Radha ji told her sakhi to give her the colors infused with fragrance so she could throw it on Shyamsunder. The sakhi looked at the utensil but it was empty. So, Swami Haridas started to worry that if Radha ji wanted fragrance infused with colors but there is none left, from where would they get the fragrance? As Swami ji was meditating, Vigyani reached Nidhivan. He gave the fragrance to Swami Haridas, who was very happy that now Radha ji could throw the fragrance on Shree Krishna. So, he took the huge container of fragrance and threw it inside the Yamuna, making the offering to Radha ji.

When Haridas came to a conscious state, he saw Vigyani who introduced himself. Swamiji asked why he looked so unhappy. Vigyani said that he had brought the fragrance with so much love but could not understand why Guru ji threw it in the river. Swamiji told his disciples to take Vigyani to Bihari ji (Shree Krishna). When he went there, he saw that the entire grove was flooded with the fragrance that he had brought, which Radha ji had thrown on Shree Krishna. After this experience, Vigyani surrendered himself to Swami Haridas.

Such is the impact of a true Guru experienced only by those who associate with him with selfless motives. A lovely shloka captures these sentiments:

मन्नाथः श्रीजगन्नाथो, मद्गुरुः श्रीजगद्गुरुः
मदात्मा सर्वभूतात्मा, तस्मई श्रीगुरुवे नमः

My Lord is the Lord of the entire universe. My Guru is the Guru of the entire world. Dearer than my soul is the supreme Lord who resides within everyone. Dearer than my life is my beloved Gurudev to whom I bow down with reverence.