Imagine running a marathon, but instead of focusing on your own finish line, you are constantly looking over your shoulder to see how others are faring. You measure your pace against theirs, compare your endurance, and gauge your progress. Such comparison can drain your energy and dampen your spirit.
Consciously or unconsciously, we often fall into this trap of comparing our relationships, careers, and possessions to those of others. In doing so, we lose sight of our own goals, strengths, and unique paths. This habit of comparison can become a major obstacle to our happiness and fulfillment. So how do we break free from it? How do we cultivate a mindset that empowers rather than diminishes us?
Let us find out.
The Futility of the Race
In the material realm, no extent of attainment satiates a person totally.
Someone strives hard to become rich and feels satisfied on becoming a millionaire. But when that same millionaire looks at a billionaire, discontentment sets in again. No matter what happiness we get, when we perceive a higher state of happiness, the feeling of unfulfillment lingers. This insidious tendency to compare with those ahead of us, chips away at our contentment. Such dissatisfaction then sparks an endless pursuit of one-upmanship. But is there any point to this futile chase?
The following story illustrates this truth with striking clarity.
Once, during his middle school years, a boy was cycling when he noticed someone pedaling furiously about 200 yards ahead. Driven by youthful competitiveness, he saw it as an unspoken challenge and began pedaling harder to catch up. Over the course of nearly three miles, he gradually closed the gap and eventually overtook the other cyclist. The thrill of victory surged through him—until he suddenly realized that he had missed his intended turn nearly 400 yards back.
The irony? The other cyclist never even knew a race had taken place.
The same is with life as well. We look at what others have and get into imaginary races.
Instead of this, let us draw inspiration from world champions. What makes them the best at what they do yet push their limits? Is it because they are competing with others?
Ask them, and they will tell you: their true drive comes from the desire to surpass their own previous best. They don't obsess over the opponents; they are focussed on unfolding their own fullest potential.
Embrace Your Unique Path
The truth is, no matter how much we achieve, there will always be someone ahead of us. Unfortunately, it is only humans who indulge in the neurotic behavior of comparing. Every other species in nature seems to be satisfied while fulfilling its purpose. For example, a lemon tree standing beside a towering banyan does not feel discontent—it does not compare. It is a unique creation in itself with its own purpose.
When we compare and imitate others, we risk straying from our true path. We start chasing dreams that are not ours, pursuing goals that don't resonate with our inner calling, and investing time and energy in paths misaligned with our nature.
The Bhagavad Gita states,
श्रेयान्स्वधर्मो विगुण: परधर्मात्स्वनुष्ठितात् |
स्वभावनियतं कर्म कुर्वन्नाप्नोति किल्बिषम् || ~ Verse 3.35
“It is far better to perform one’s natural prescribed duty, though tinged with faults, than to perform another’s prescribed duty, though perfectly. In fact, it is preferable to die in the discharge of one’s duty, than to follow the path of another, which is fraught with danger.”
This means, if we abandon our duties thinking them to be defective, and take up another’s duties unsuitable for our nature, we struggle against our innate tendencies.
The above verse resonates with Arjun's dilemma in the Mahabharat.
As a Kshatriya, Arjun was naturally inclined towards administration and warfare. Yet, facing his own kin in the battle, he was overcome with sorrow and moral confusion. He confided in Shree Krishna, expressing his desire to renounce the world and live as an ascetic in the forest. Lord Krishna, however, advised him that abandoning his duty would not lead to spiritual growth—it would be escapism. Even in the forest, Arjun’s warrior nature would persist, possibly without clarity or purpose. Krishna, thus, urged him to perform his duty, offering its fruits to God.
On similar lines, the SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats) that guides decisions in management can help us self-reflect.
● What are my strengths?
● What are my weaknesses?
● What unique opportunities lie ahead?
● What internal or external challenges must I overcome?
This clarity can help us align our efforts with our authentic path.
Albert Einstein put it beautifully: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Everyone is born with unique talents and inclinations. Discover and nurture them. Embrace your unique path and grow from there. Afterall, life is not about perfection—it is about progression.
From Envy to Elevation
We understand our unique path and remind ourselves not to compare. Yet, the ghost of envy often sneaks in fuelling the trap of comparison.
A powerful analogy for this is the crab mentality.
In order to catch crabs, fishermen lower a mesh trap into the water with an open top and a bottom. The crabs walk in and settle at the bottom. Interestingly, the trap remains open from the top—any crab can simply climb out and escape. But they don’t. What stops them? It is the other crabs. The moment one crab tries to climb out, the others pull it down. As a result, none escape, and they all eventually get cooked.
Envy works the same way. It drags us down and prevents us from rising. It is rooted in the scarcity mindset—that there is only so much success, happiness, or prosperity to go around. When we perceive life as a limited pie, someone else's gain feels like our loss. It compels us to believe, “If their light shines brighter, ours must dim.
What if we flipped the script?
What if we embraced the truth that the universe is abundant—that one person’s victory doesn’t diminish another’s?
When we truly believe there is enough in the universe for everyone to thrive, we stop seeing others’ success as competition. We start recognizing that if one person succeeds, it only amplifies the possibility of success for others. There is no "they won, so I lost" – only "they have gone ahead – I can too."
Counting Blessings: Gratitude
To truly anchor ourselves in the mindset of abundance, we need something beyond intellectual understanding—a change of heart. This is where practicing gratitude comes in. Gratitude is not just a feel-good idea—it is a conscious choice to focus on what we have, not what we lack. While envy narrows our vision to what others possess, gratitude expands it to all we have already received.
Here is a story to illustrate this.
There once lived a poet who was invited to the royal court to recite his verse. But he was in despair. “How can I go? I don’t even have decent clothes to wear,” he grumbled. Cursing his fate, he vented to God about his misfortune.
Just then, a toy seller knocked and stood at his door, glowing with joy. He had only one leg and one hand. The toys hung from a string around his neck, and with his only hand, he balanced on a crutch.
The poet asked, “Don’t you feel life has been cruel? Don’t you feel bad about your condition?”
The toy seller smiled and said, “I still have one leg to walk, one hand to hold joy, and the chance to make children smile. I thank God every day.”
The poet realized: Here was a person with so little—yet overflowing with gratitude. God has blessed me with immense poetic talent and so much more. I have been blind to my blessings. Just like the poet, we often fixate on what is missing instead of marveling at what is present. Someone will always have more, and someone will always have less.
The question is: where is your focus?
The Antidote of Bhakti
The path of bhakti offers a profound way to transcend the lower impulses like comparison and envy.
Let us first understand the nature of the mind.
The mind can be compared to a subtle machine fitted within. One of its primary functions is to constantly generate thoughts. Trying to make the mind thoughtless is extremely difficult. The path of bhakti tells us not to stop the thinking process; rather, to divert it towards God.
Compare it with riding a bicycle. If you press the brakes, then retaining balance will be impossible. You will fall either to the left or to the right. But instead, if you turn the handle sideways, the forward movement will easily stop. Similarly, by dovetailing our minds towards God, we begin to transcend the limitations of the material world.
The material world operates within the three modes of nature—sattva (goodness), rajas (passion), and tamas (ignorance). Every object and person in the world is under the sway of these modes. Attachment to worldly things entangles us in these modes. Yet, by absorbing our minds in God, who is beyond these modes, our consciousness elevates.
Shree Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita,
मां च योऽव्यभिचारेण भक्तियोगेन सेवते |
स गुणान्समतीत्यैतान्ब्रह्मभूयाय कल्पते || ~ Verse 14.26
“Those who serve Me with unalloyed devotion rise above the three modes of material nature and come to the level of the Brahman.”
Since the Supreme Divine Personality is all-pure, when we immerse our mind in Him, slowly our mind too gets cleansed and develops sublime qualities.
"I don't have enough" transforms into "I have not become enough yet," tapping into a healthy sense of discontent that inspires self-improvement. Further, through bhakti, material desires get replaced by love for God. Joy no longer comes from outperforming others, but from pleasing the Divine. The aim is no longer to enjoy more, but to serve God better. This shift—from self-centred enjoyment to selfless service—liberates us from envy. It allows us to sublimate our passions and desires into higher expressions of devotion. This is bhakti in its purest form: using everything, even our competitive tendencies, as fuel for spiritual elevation.
Conclusion
In this grand race of life, we are not here to outpace others—we are here to outgrow ourselves. When we stop looking sideways and begin to look within, we find a deeper rhythm—our rhythm. So let us run our own race—not for the medals of the world, but for the mastery of the self.
Measure success not in applause, but in alignment with our soul. Redefine progress not by how far ahead we are, but by how faithful we are to our purpose. As we gaze at those ahead of us, let us see their progress as a reminder of our own potential. Let their light illuminate our path, inspiring us to reach new heights.
Resources
● FOCUS ON YOURSELF - You will Never Compare With Others After Watching This - Swami Mukundananda
● SUCCESS = Focus on Yourself Not Others | Lord Krishna's Life Advice | Swami Mukundananda | Gita
● Feeling JEALOUS of Someone's Success? Do this to get Rid of It | Q/A with Swami Mukundananda
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