From Reactive to Proactive: Mastering Your Mindset for Success

The Essential Ingredient for Success

We all crave success and happiness, but they are not just handed down to us. They have to be crafted within. Our mindset is the essential ingredient for a successful life. Whether you radiate kindness or carry a sharp tongue, whether you tackle life with dedication or prefer to coast along, it all boils down to the attitude you nurture. Success is the natural outcome of a positive mindset. A popular Sanskrit verse goes:

dharmasya phalam icchanti dharmaṁ necchanti mānavāḥ | phalaṁ pāpasya necchanti pāpaṁ kurvanti yatnataḥ ||

People wish to enjoy the results of pious deeds, but they have no desire to perform such deeds. People do not desire the fruits of sinful deeds, and yet they try hard to commit sin. (However, they will only get the fruits of their actions)

Ninety percent of our actions stem from our mindsets. Those who excel at regulating their emotions achieve remarkable success in their fields, even against steep odds. By consciously choosing their thoughts, they cultivate faith and inspiration, approaching every task with joy and resilience.

In contrast, some people find themselves trapped in a web of their thoughts, repeatedly revisiting feelings of worry, sadness, and bitterness. This habit drains their energy and vitality, damages their health, strains their relationships, and hampers their effectiveness at work.

Significantly, murky mindsets are not innate—they are created, either mindfully or unknowingly, through repeated indulgence in negative emotions. However, they can be transformed through the repeated practice of noble sentiments and uplifting thoughts. Hence, choose your mindset wisely, because that is the silent architect of your destiny.

The Reactive vs Proactive Mindset

Think of a recent situation where you faced a hostile condition and blamed one of the following: nature, God, the weather, family, colleagues, or friends. Sounds quite familiar, doesn't it? Most of us have encountered situations in our lives when we reacted negatively to an unfavorable circumstance, only to regret it later. In the process, we may have strained relationships, complicated the problem, and hindered our growth. Upon thoughtful reflection: Did my reaction help me solve the issue, did it contribute to my personal development in any way? The answer is: no. Instead, being reactive impeded my success and fulfilment.

A Reactive Mindset is one where one blames the external environment, such as weather, economic downturn, other people, the universe, God, destiny, Kaliyug, and so forth, for all problems in life. This is a problem-oriented mindset where one complains about misfortune and difficulties by forsaking their responsibility. A reactive person equates their happiness with externals: “If only I were more qualified”, “I’m in a bad mood”, “I wish my spouse were more caring”, “If the other person were not so selfish.” Reactivity hands the keys of our personality to moods, impulses, and external factors.

In contrast, the Proactive Mindset empowers one to think, “If I try hard enough, I can solve this problem.” This is a solution-oriented mindset, where one acknowledges the problem and starts hunting for possible solutions. In the face of problems, one takes responsibility for the way they feel and recognizes the need to manage their mind, rather than blaming external entities or people. A Proactive Mindset equips one to subordinate negative impulses, feelings, and moods to the higher purpose we choose for ourselves.

How to Shift Your Mindset from Reactive to Proactive

1.   Take Responsibility for Your Emotions: Dealing with life effectively demands that we become proactive in owning responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, irrespective of the environment. This begins by recognizing the gap between external circumstances and our response to them. Doing so enables us to choose our emotions in everyday life. A compelling example of this philosophy is the story of Viktor Frankl, a Jewish psychologist in Austria during World War II. When Hitler persecuted Jews, Frankl was sent to the Auschwitz concentration camp, where he was separated from his wife and daughters, who were later killed. The conditions, as Frankl testified, were horrifying.

They used to walk through the night, naked, not knowing where they were going, and uncertain whether they would be alive the next day.

Despite these extreme circumstances, Viktor Frankl made a profound discovery. He had one freedom no one could take away from him: his ability to choose his emotions. He decided that regardless of his suffering, he would remain cheerful. He would often smile and laugh, perplexing his fellow inmates. When asked how he managed to stay positive, he simply replied, “It’s my choice.” To develop a proactive mindset, understand this gap and consistently practice choosing your thoughts.

2.   Increase the Sphere of Influence: Life presents us with two distinct types of challenges:

i) Direct problems that impact us personally and immediately (such as health, food, accommodation, climate, and work issues)

ii) Influenceable problems whose outcomes we can indirectly affect through our actions (our behavior, knowledge, skills, attitude, and mindset, for instance, changing our behavior to influence our boss's attitude positively).

The more areas you can positively impact, even indirectly, the more effective you become at handling life's complexities. Conversely, if you shrink the areas where you can exert influence, you will find yourself less capable of dealing with challenges. The key to navigating life effectively lies in expanding your sphere of influence.

3.   Change the Vocabulary: A reactive person relies upon the conditional clause beginning with “If”. This implies that such a personality heavily depends on flimsy grounds, such as moods, feelings, and other people’s behaviors. A proactive person shifts the language to active verbs like: “I can do it”;  “I am responsible for how I feel”; “I will change the way others behave towards me”; “I will convince him”; “I will try harder”, “I have the freedom to choose my emotions”; etc.

4. Shift Your Paradigms: Often, the problem lies in the way we approach it. We have all created paradigms, knowingly or unknowingly, through which we view the world. Proactive and Reactive mindsets sprout from positive and negative paradigms that we create.

Based on the chosen paradigm, you will strive to either become cunning or a good human being. You will either work hard or shirk responsibility.

When you shift your paradigm, a quantum change occurs in how you process events and experiences of life. This paradigm shift can make all the difference between experiencing life as hell or feeling heavenly.

Swami Mukundananda illustrates this with the amusing tale of a grumpy old lady who couldn’t stop complaining about her neighbors to her husband.

“Just look at that car!” she grumbled one morning. “It’s filthy. Do they ever wash it?”

Another day, she peered out the window and sighed, “Their clothes are hung out to dry, but just look at those big blotches! Can’t they see the stains?”

Sometimes, her exasperation turned to the neighbors’ home itself. “Even their walls are stained! How can anyone be so messy?”

But one fine morning, she awoke and gasped as she looked out the window. Everything seemed sparkling clean—the car, the clothes, and even the walls!

Startled, she exclaimed, “My dear, what happened overnight? Suddenly, everything looks so clean!”

Her husband chuckled and replied, “Nothing has changed with the neighbors. Before bed, I cleaned our window panes!”

As humorous and light-hearted as this story may sound, it holds a profound lesson. Just like the old lady’s cloudy windows distorted her view of the world, our minds, clouded by negative thoughts, judgements, and unresolved emotions, can make us see faults and imperfections everywhere. By clearing the “dust” from our inner windows, we can experience a world filled with beauty, clarity, and grace.

5. Make an Honest Self-Assessment: An honest evaluation of our mindset, while acknowledging our faults, is a necessary step to proactivity. However, sometimes, we fall into the faultlines of pride, believing that the defect lies in others, not us. Let us understand this through a story.

In a church congregation, there was one person who regularly attended and listened to the sermons. Whenever the pastor would talk about humility and the need to conquer arrogance, he would listen to the lecture with a smile. He would later appreciate the pastor and tell him how all the others in the world needed to hear his words of wisdom. The pastor often pondered how to make him realize that the words of wisdom were most applicable to him.

During one particular sermon, there were no other attendees except for this arrogant man. The pastor seized the golden opportunity and highlighted the dangers of conceit and pride. The man heard with enthusiasm and with a smile on his face. At the end of the sermon, he, as usual, walked up to the pastor and said, “Today, you nailed it. Unfortunately, the ones who had to hear it were not present. Never mind, I will convey your message to them.”

Cautioning us against the pitfalls of pride, Swami Mukundananda points out: The pride within us is never willing to accept that we may not be as elevated as we think we are. He urges us to evaluate our defects honestly and adopt a student mindset. Think, with humility, “I’m an ocean of defects,” and show eagerness to learn.

After you learn, you commit to implementing the learning and finally do it. This leads to further learning, deeper commitment, and more action. Repeating this cycle creates an upward spiral of life for higher evolution. 

Self-Reflection Activity

Scenario: You had an important post-lunch meeting scheduled with a major client across town. Just as you were about to leave, a trivial phone call from your daughter took up 15 crucial minutes. This forced you to hurry, but the commute was plagued by rude drivers and slow highway traffic. To make matters worse, an unnecessary traffic jam occurred because of rubbernecking at two parked cars. As a result, you arrived at the meeting 45 minutes late and faced a reprimand from the client. What were your thoughts?

A.   You kept cursing the client in your mind

B.   You started blaming yourself, “I should have started earlier.”

C.   You started blaming your daughter, the traffic, and the government

D.  You said, “It was nobody’s fault, hence I should not feel dejected.”

Reflect on the scenario above and make an honest evaluation of your mindset. Also, think how you could improve your response for a proactive one. When you exercise the muscle of responsibility, your life will be transformed not by 50 percent, but 500 percent!

Call To Action

1. Order your copy of  7 Mindsets for Success, Happiness, and Fulfillment to learn about the Proactive Mindset at https://www.jkyog.org/giftshop/product-details/7602382045229

2.   Subscribe to the Swami Mukundananda YouTube channel to find more on Mind Management: Are you Proactive or Reactive? This will change your life not 50% but 500% | Swami Mukundananda

3. To know more, join the SMeX Portal and unlock the Power of a Proactive Mindset (SMEx Session 97): https://www.jkyog.org/smex-portal?activeTab=live

 Resources

● Mukundananda, S. (2022). 7 Mindsets for Success, Happiness, and Fulfillment. Rupa Publications Pvt Ltd: New Delhi, India.

● Are you Proactive or Reactive? This will change your life not 50% but 500% | Swami Mukundananda

● When Situations are Beyond your Control in Life - How to Respond? | Swami Mukundananda's Life-Advice